Plan B>Type A

One of the numerous traits gifted to me by my little one is flexibility.  I'm fairly type A, I'll own that, however toddlers laugh in the face of plans and perfection so I have to learn to relinquish some control of my expectations.

For example, I love to cook and even more I love  to cook for others.  Our dear friends had a daughter about a month ago and her 'welcome to the world' party is tomorrow.  Because I know these wonderful people are dedicating all of their time between a 2 1/2 year old boy and a 4 week old girl, I volunteered to make cupcakes for the party.  Plus, cupcakes are just fun. I am incapable of buying a box of cake mix and a can of frosting, and an occasion such as this calls for no ordinary cupcake....they have to be gorgeous and deserving of the beautiful baby.

So I did the thing where I research the crap out of recipes, find the perfect one, and go after it.  Like usual, it came to pass fairly quickly that my cupcakes were not going to end up looking like the ones on the computer screen.  Not so long ago this would have been a one way to ticket to a tizzy.  These days,...it's an opportunity for creativity.  The cupcakes still aren't done; but regardless how they turn out, I suspect they will be exactly what my friends were hoping for.

So I've got a race on Sunday and I really want to get below a 9m mile on it if possible.  The only way to do that is to not go into the race tired.  I ran 12 miles on Tuesday night and took yesterday off which means the only option for getting another decent run in this week would be to go today.  I did not sleep at all last night and (TMI) have been battling fatigue and cramps all day today.  There was a secret little part of me that was hoping Brian would be home from work too late for me to get out there.  No dice - he was all polite and stuff and made it home in time.  Ug...okay. I made a deal with  myself - I've got this really great little 6 mile loop with many opportunities to ditch - I was allowed to run as slow as I wanted and bail out at any point.  More importantly, even though I didn't want to accept it, I knew the best resolution for "tired w/cramps" was a run.  I resigned myself to my fate, changed, plugged in, and started at a really comfy pace, almost leisurely.  About two miles deep I forgot I was tired, about 3 miles deep I forgot I was running. I ended up doing the whole 6 miles at a 9:30 pace.  Not my fastest, but still kind of hilarious that, that is now my leisurely pace.

I remember when I first started running I couldn't even get around the half mile track.  I just wanted to get to the point that I could comfortably run 3 miles.  Five miles was going to be a huge victory.  In November, I ran a race with my friend Jeff - I did the 3.7 and he did the 8 mile.  I remember thinking there was no way I was ever going to be able to run 8 miles. And then weirdly it just happened....at some point I became a runner.  Four miles became my base run, then five, and now 6.   Even just in the last week...it used to be that the 6 mile run would still wear me out, but tonight, not at all.  I feel like the 12 mile run on Tuesday "broke the seal" on some level.  I think the most gratifying part of all this is that I started running because I wanted to lose weight. That whole Type A thing dictated that if I could just get "really good" at running I could be the size I was convinced I needed to be.  Now, my central focus is breaking my 9 minute mile.  And honestly, I just run for the way it makes me feel, for the good works it extends into the other aspects of my life,  and because it's really fun (even when I think I'm not in the mood.) Oddly enough along the way ...I also stopped caring what I looked like. HOLY HELL - I have cared what my body looks like for 25 years.  And now...I just don't.

I'm still definitely Type A.  I'm just a Type A with a Plan B.